How much is God really involved in the plans of your life?  I began to see it very clearly...only in hindsight though!

I had mail.  Little did I know that opening it would change my life so drastically.

It was the end of April, and I was busy working on my computer in my home office.  I clicked open the email that I just received from Pete, the owner of the network of television stations that had been my main client during the past six years.

It started out on a note I wasn't expecting.  "Perhaps your work for our company is coming to an end…" and ended with "effective June 1^st all work will now be done in-house."

It went from a "perhaps" to an "effective on" in three sentences.  This came after recently receiving complements and congratulations on the great job I was doing.  I was exceeding revenue expectations and everyone seemed pleased.  What had changed?  Why so suddenly?  In one month my business would be virtually shut down!

Several emails back and forth revealed that my request for a clear explanation or extension of time would not be given.  Tears streamed down my face as I sent the reply, "Thank you for the years that I was able to provide service for your network.  I will help make the transition as smooth as possible."

Through the tears came a voice from my 'instant messenger' - God.  He said, "This is an answer to your prayer."  "An answer to my prayer?” I asked in surprise.  Then I remembered, "Oh, yes, now I remember.  I know exactly which one that was.  But did it have to be answered so suddenly and directly…and via email?”

Well, however God chose to do it, He did answer my prayer!  Over the past few years my prayer was for God to release me from this work and give me something new.  I had periodically written resignation letters that thanked this client for the opportunity to work with his network, but that it was time for me to move on.  But each time I wrote one of these letters I had to set it aside. I just couldn't send it.  I didn't feel that I had the release from God to do it.  The Holy Spirit kept saying, “Not yet.”  But my soul wanted it over.

Even so, I yielded to the Spirit’s voice and didn't send the letters.  I continued on and thanked God for the perfect business He had given me.  I was thankful for the flexible hours that I was able to work and the sense of purpose it gave me.   I knew it was God Who gave me this business just when I needed it and He would have to be the One to decide when to take it away.  It would have to be God and His timing. 

You see, just before God gave me this business six years ago, I started to get migraines.  Bad migraines.  They would last for days and were so intense that I couldn’t do anything but lay on the couch.  The pain paralyzed my daily activities.

Before these migraines hit, I could not have told you a thing about what a migraine was.  Sure, I would have an occasional headache here and there, but nothing like these.  Now I couldn't tolerate lights, smells, or sounds.  Cooking dinner was becoming a rare experience because when I did cook, the smell of the food would cause me to get nauseated and my head would begin to hurt and then the migraines would start. 

This began a stifling period in my life where I would be housebound for many days each month.  I started to see doctor after doctor, who would try medicine after medicine.  Each new medication had its own side effects and the bad reactions I experienced from most of them made me even sicker and kept me on the couch for even longer periods of time.

The couch became my friend, and the O.J. Trial became my expertise.  It started around the same time the migraines started, and while I was confined to the couch I could turn on the TV and be judge, jury, and prosecutor right in my own home.

I began to question my purpose.  I felt like I was wasting my time.  Yet I was in such pain I could not think of what I could do with myself.  I was not able to hold a regular job.  Many times I cried out to the Lord, “Please give me something constructive to do with my time!”

One day as I was lying on the couch, I got a call from David, my former boss at the television network that we used to work for.  He used to be the VP of Marketing there and I was the National Sales Director.  It had recently closed its doors and David was now a consultant for another television network.

“There is an opportunity for you to help this new network increase their revenue.  They have some unsold commercial time and I would like for you to manage it for them,” he told me.  “You could work from home.  Do you want to do it?” 

“Sure!” I told him.  “I was wondering how I was going to use all of the skills that the Lord taught me about the television business now that the network closed down!”

My prayer to be able to do something constructive with my time was answered!  This job would be perfect for me.  I could lie on the couch when I was sick and then when my business phone would ring, I could sit up, talk intelligently for a few minutes.   Then when the conversation was over, I could hang up and lie back down.  All I needed was a phone, a fax machine and Federal Express.  During the times I felt well, I could work hard and take care of this television network's commercial needs, as well as my need for meaning and purpose during this confining time.  It was a business given to me directly by God. 

My new business provided me with meaningful work while I went through all of the various challenges and trials of migraine therapy.  It offered me the flexibility I needed and gave the network the extra sales it needed.  Although the monetary benefit was good, feeling like I was doing something useful with myself was even more important to me at the time.

During the many hours I was home alone I was able to spend time with the Lord studying, praying, and asking questions.  The Lord had shown me a lot during the various personal and professional experiences that I went through in my life and He even was teaching me new truths while I was going through this trial.  A real desire to help others, to motivate them and to help them to see the goodness of the Lord, started to grow.  I wanted to share all that I was learning.

Because of the migraines I was still experiencing, the amount time I was able to be productive was limited.  The time I did have I devoted to my family and the TV stations that I was representing.  Somehow I needed to have more time to write. 

I thought about closing my business in order to have more time to work on my writing projects.  That is when I wrote those resignation letters that I just put away.  I just did not have the OK from God to close this business yet.  I had to wait on God’s timing.  After all, He gave me this business when I really needed it and I didn’t want to close it until I knew that He was ready for it to end.  So I kept praying and asking Him, “Please let me know what Your will is.  And when You do reveal it to me, please make it very clear so that I do not miss it.”

So, that day, at the end of April, God answered my prayer for an unmistakable answer unmistakably!  I got the email that ended my relationship with this network of stations.  It clearly signaled to me the end of this phase and the beginning of the next phase of God’s plan for me.  I didn’t have to guess at what God wanted me to do about this any more!

One month after my relationship ended with these stations the Lord answered my many prayers for healing, too.  In July, I underwent a surgical procedure that miraculously cured the migraines I had dealt with over the last six years.  My term of suffering with debilitating migraines was over! 

I finally had my life back and I was able to start living it again!  Things that I couldn’t even think of doing before returned to be part of my life again.  My life we taken off of ‘hold’ and I could be excited about my future again.  I praised God and thanked Him for His healing.

“What do you want me to do next, Lord?”  I asked eagerly.  I was ready to be used by Him in whatever He wanted me to do next.

Out of the blue I got a call from Carl, a station manager for the network I just ended my relationship with.  “I’m working with a new network now and we could sure use your expertise to manage our unsold commercial time,” he said.  I accepted, of course!  I recognized that God had used this pattern of offering me a job before!

Now I am working with this new group of stations, which gave me the change I needed.  And with the extra energy I have from being healthy, I have more time to write, too!  God is so good.  He provides for me in every season of my life!

God has shown me over and over that He hears our prayers and answers them.  I was confused at times because my prayers weren’t answered in the way that I thought they should be.  But, looking back I can say for certain that His plan was much better than anything I could ever come up with on my own.  I have learned that God is more generous, more loving, and more powerful than I ever imagined. 

My current prayer is, “Lord, please use me to share Your Victory with people all over the world.”  If God’s answer to this prayer is anywhere near as good as His answers in the past, I know I have a lot to look forward to!

©2001-2004 Rose Martin